When I was little I used to dream about the existence of another me. Another Dan Bush. Not to be confused with a twin, rather an exact counterpart to my body and soul somewhere out there in the universe.
I imagined that other Dan Bush and I would be into all the same things. Like telling jokes, reading Choose Your Own Adventure books, and running the treadmill on High to skin the faces off my brother's WWF action heros. Other Dan Bush would be sympathetic to me when I got in trouble. He'd be my total bro.
Inspired by my friend Christiane's search for herself on Google, I journied the spiderweb of tubes that connect us (as Al Gore puts it), to find my other self.
The first Dan Bush I came across was a Micro-Biology Professor at UC Berkely. Not a chance. I've never been into science and I don't want to feel the pressure of having to live up to Other Dan Bush for the rest of my life.
The next Dan Bush I found was promising at first, a photographer. I have a deep appreciation for art behind the lens and I aways try to surround myself with artistic people. But upon a second glance, I realized he wasn't going to fit. Dan Bush has been operating a website for ten years: "Missouri Skies: A website dedicated to the ever-changing skies of Missouri. Promoting the enjoyment of sky watching". It was clear that this Dan Bush has only had relations with women via the internet.
And then I found him. Other Dan Bush. And he is not my bro. The picture above and to your left is of him. Okay, I know what your thinking. "Dan, he has a much better jaw line then you". But before you fall for this kid's good looks and High School Musical Swagger, remember where your allegiance lies. This is an excerpt from his website:
"Dan Bush is back, and he's hotter than ever. As for those of you who know me, you can see from my dazzling picture above that I have gone under massive surgery. Fret not my friends, for I am still totally awesome. I'm the hottest thing since the Marcarena. Let's not kid ourselves, you cannot resist me. Give into your human lusts, and check back here for the latest on Dan Bush"
Say hello to Dan Bush, Palientologist/Actor. How it happened is a miraculous, heart-warming story. I was discussing with my agent my not-so-professional love for the awe-inspiring genius known only as Jeff Goldblum. I told him of how I aspired to be either him, or a much hotter him. Then, my agent hit me with the biggest news I may ever receive. His exact words were.. "You know, Dan Bush.. I think I vaguely remember knowing a guy who did some dental work for Jeff Goldblum's niece." Due to time constraints, I will now tell you the end of the story. I met Jeff Goldblum, and we shared a very intimate, one-on-one conversation of his genius role in Jurassic Park 1 & 2. The rest, my friends, is history."
So my search is over. I think I'm okay knowing there is just one person exactly like me. And for those days I wake up wishing I was somewhere else, or someone else for that matter, I have all the Dan Bush's in the world to convince me otherwise.
Due to popular demand (for the 3 people that read this) I have included Other Dan Bush's website: http://www.angelfire.com/scary/danbush/
I imagined that other Dan Bush and I would be into all the same things. Like telling jokes, reading Choose Your Own Adventure books, and running the treadmill on High to skin the faces off my brother's WWF action heros. Other Dan Bush would be sympathetic to me when I got in trouble. He'd be my total bro.
Inspired by my friend Christiane's search for herself on Google, I journied the spiderweb of tubes that connect us (as Al Gore puts it), to find my other self.
The first Dan Bush I came across was a Micro-Biology Professor at UC Berkely. Not a chance. I've never been into science and I don't want to feel the pressure of having to live up to Other Dan Bush for the rest of my life.
The next Dan Bush I found was promising at first, a photographer. I have a deep appreciation for art behind the lens and I aways try to surround myself with artistic people. But upon a second glance, I realized he wasn't going to fit. Dan Bush has been operating a website for ten years: "Missouri Skies: A website dedicated to the ever-changing skies of Missouri. Promoting the enjoyment of sky watching". It was clear that this Dan Bush has only had relations with women via the internet.
And then I found him. Other Dan Bush. And he is not my bro. The picture above and to your left is of him. Okay, I know what your thinking. "Dan, he has a much better jaw line then you". But before you fall for this kid's good looks and High School Musical Swagger, remember where your allegiance lies. This is an excerpt from his website:
"Dan Bush is back, and he's hotter than ever. As for those of you who know me, you can see from my dazzling picture above that I have gone under massive surgery. Fret not my friends, for I am still totally awesome. I'm the hottest thing since the Marcarena. Let's not kid ourselves, you cannot resist me. Give into your human lusts, and check back here for the latest on Dan Bush"
Say hello to Dan Bush, Palientologist/Actor. How it happened is a miraculous, heart-warming story. I was discussing with my agent my not-so-professional love for the awe-inspiring genius known only as Jeff Goldblum. I told him of how I aspired to be either him, or a much hotter him. Then, my agent hit me with the biggest news I may ever receive. His exact words were.. "You know, Dan Bush.. I think I vaguely remember knowing a guy who did some dental work for Jeff Goldblum's niece." Due to time constraints, I will now tell you the end of the story. I met Jeff Goldblum, and we shared a very intimate, one-on-one conversation of his genius role in Jurassic Park 1 & 2. The rest, my friends, is history."
So my search is over. I think I'm okay knowing there is just one person exactly like me. And for those days I wake up wishing I was somewhere else, or someone else for that matter, I have all the Dan Bush's in the world to convince me otherwise.
Due to popular demand (for the 3 people that read this) I have included Other Dan Bush's website: http://www.angelfire.com/scary/danbush/
2 comments:
oh, that's amazing! "fret not my friends..." i am so glad i know you (and all the other dan bushes, vicariously).
Post a Comment